The Great Indian Wedding part two, deconstructing the wedding speech

Let me start by saying that I don't think I would be as comfortable or confident at doing a wedding speech as the more established MC's (who, it may be argued have a stranglehold on the vocation). I will therefore not be too critical about the actual delivery, but choose to focus on the content of the speech at an Indian wedding in Cape Town. Note that I refer to the speech in the singular, because I do believe that there is just one speech, having been passed down the generations with only the occasional variation. (Regular subscribers may remember the concept of memes)
Some of the recurring themes and stock-phrases below may illustrate my point.
"the universal greeting..."
"respected elders, brothers and sisters, beloved children..."
"it gives me great pleasure.."
"without further ado... (frequently erroneously "further adieu")

The introduction usually paves the way for the guest speaker, whose arrival at the podium is usually heralded by the sound of scarves being repositioned from the neutral position (ie on the neck) to the position of humility (ie on the head) executed by women in the audience with military precision. ("No, Chand-bibi, you have to wear a scarf, even if it's in your neck!")

The main purpose of the main speaker seems to be to inspire feelings of guilt and cultural inadequacy: women and men are constantly reminded of their roles in society and how they are failing to fulfill them. Women especially are targetted for not being better wives, and husbands for "not teaching and looking after your womenfolk". The topic of divorce is a common thread in the wedding speech, as is filial obligation. Bollywood movies are increasingly used as a template for emotional blackmail, used to justify actions and attitudes between the married families (ref to the great indian wedding part one). The movie Baghban, for example, has been cited as "something every family should see!" by MC's at recent weddings, which usually inspires mutterings of "it happened to Amitabh, it can happen to us" from the members of the audience. (Let me just digress for a moment to say that Baghban is crap, an awful movie with dismal acting, and no purpose other than to rake in the rupees of prospective mothers-in-law who, after watching it, will develop an unhealthy fear of their future daughter-in-law..) A healthy dose of hellfire and brimstone are added to the mix, and served as an appetiser before the main meal